Why I love being a "part-time" mom
I genuinely love being a part-time mom. This is a nuanced position. It's not that I don't want to be a mom. I love being a mom. At the same time, I am the happiest when I feel useful and good at something. Knowing myself, I'm a mediocre mom at best (and hey - the average mom is amazing so that's totally fine!), but I do strive to be a really good engineer. If the kids are awake 12 hours a day, and parents work full time, then just about half that time they are not being cared for by their parents. But I don't want to spend all my free time outside of work on kids either: I want to be civically engaged, work on side projects, and hang with my friends. And history is on my side. In fact, working moms today actually spend MORE time on focused childcare than stay at home moms 40 years ago (who averaged 30 hours a week (!!) on housework). So expecting moms to center all or even most of their free time around their children is actually a very recent phenomenon.
Some things that I do to balance time with the kids with time for myself:
I split childcare with my husband. We both get two evenings a week to ourselves, plus a few hours on Saturday and half of Sunday. I've written previously about taking care of multiple kids at once.
I am all about unlicensed community childcare arrangements! Including: Parents taking care of each others’ kids, license-exempt child facilitation (for example, a group music lesson), or license-exempt institutions. I attend a Unitarian church with my kids, and I run a weekly parent circle where high school students provide playcare while parents chat.
What does joyful parenting mean to you? Feel free to email us with your ideas - we'd be happy to have more guest posts!
Community events and links
What we're reading
Our book of the month is All joy and no fun: the paradox of modern parenting ! Other community spaces and childcare arrangements that we've found inspiring:
"Child home" community centers in Nagi, a Japanese city where people have 3 kids on average, where you can drop off your kid and run errands
Babysitting co-op in Portland where babysitters (who are also parents) get paid in babysitting vouchers
Regular events
All of our regular events are posted on our Meetup!
Community roller skating every Monday (except for school holidays and rain) at Hayes Valley Playground 3-6pm. Skates available to borrow for free from toddler size 8 on up!
Toy train hour at Sequoia Fabrica, the local kid-friendly makerspace in Potrero Hill every Wednesday 4:30-5:30pm ($15)
Parents chat while kids play at Manny's cafe every Thursday 11:30-1:30pm
Parent circle at The Commons kid-friendly coworking & event space. (Parents pool $20 each for high school students to babysit while we chat)
Halloween!
For the full list of streets that are closed to cars for safe trick-or-treating on Halloween day, check the Mission Local article.
Friday October 25th
Scaregrove! 3-9pm at Sigmund Stern Grove. Carnival rides, games, food trucks, haunted places, arts & crafts, live entertainment, free bike parking.
Saturday October 26th
Halloween stroll in daylight! 3-5pm on slow Sanchez St
Hayes Valley trick or treat trail! Trick or treat 4-6pm at Miette. 5pm kids costume contest, 6pm pets costume contest, 6:30pm adults costume contest at Patricia's Green. Outdoor movie at Proxy 7pm.
Excelsior Clubhouse Haunted House & Carnival! Carnival 5-7:30pm, haunted house 5-9:30pm, 163 London St. Tickets are one dollar.
Minneslowta spooky stroll! 5-8pm, Minnesota street between 20th and 22nd Streets. Plus free jazz music! (event link)
Sunday October 27th
Alamo scare! Trick or treat at the painted ladies. A Victorian block party. 4-6:30pm at the center lawn or Alamo Square Park. Children get medals of bravery from emperer Norton, and the Prescott Circus will be there.
The Great Hauntway! 1-4pm, on the Great Highway between Judah and Taraval. Trick or treating, bounce houses, arts and crafts, and live music. And you can take a special spooky Muni L train there! (event link)
Thursday October 31st
Cayuga trick-or-treating! 5:30-8pm, Cayuga Park to Geneva Ave & San Jose Ave to Alemany Blvd
Shotwell Street Halloween! 5-9pm, Shotwell street from 19th street (including the fire station! they let the kids see inside the fire trucks) to 23rd street
Fair Oaks Halloween! 5-8:30pm, Fair Oaks Street from 22nd to 25th. Fair Oaks neighbors go hard on the Halloween decorations!!
DÃa de los Muertos + Halloween at SF’s Mission Community Market! 3-7pm, 22nd Street between Mission and Valencia (event link)
All the halloween flyers below !!
